Out of Breath...

Things are nutty around here! The only home Kenzie has ever known will soon be someone else's. That prospect crumbles my heart a wee bit. It's such a great house and I'm sad it's going to be haunted by some ugly new inhabitants. It's been a roller-coaster ride with our buyers whom can best be described as shrewd and absolutely neurotic negotiators. I wish we could say that we've "won" the game, but essentially we've been backed into a corner and are walking away with our freedom.

And...we have finally arrived at a plan and it's in absolute motion. We've got a tight deadline of a rapidly approaching 'closing' date. Lot's to wrap up and worry about, but lots of hope for a different life and future.

We're moving back to the good 'ole Midwest. Home of the humidity, mosquitos, & snow. Home to our immediate families and the prospect of Kenzie finding companionship with her cousins. A home where her Mama doesn't work a bazillion hours a day for families that aren't her own... and a home where her Daddy likes his job. A home where the cost of living isn't so suffocating and we'll have "more" & simultaneously "less."

We'll miss the beach, the quaint sidewalk cafes, the gentle breezes and brilliant sunny day... after sunny day. We'll enjoy a more colorful and profound transition of the seasons. We'll enjoy the resume of landscaping when the growing season restarts -vs.- all freaking yearlong. We'll miss the mountainscape out our back windows. We'll gain a more gently sloping landscape - peppered with trees that grow lush and thick along the river & property lines (& no the stigma of the Midwest being FLAT and barren is absolutely not true!). No more orange, nut & fruit groves - but we'll see prairie after prairie of rolling wheat fields that whisper with the breeze. No more crazy lizards and snail hunts - but we'll have lightening bugs to chase instead. No more palm trees, except for the crazy evergreens that are trimmed to look like one. And, we'll have lots of big oaks that make excellent leave piles in the fall. We'll make snow forts and go sledding in the winter, instead of being barefoot and yet simultaneously "chilly" when it's 70-ish degrees.

The differences are many, and each place is unique..... and now one will be home, while the other is not.
Goodbye California....Hello Midwest.

Witty

Ms. Kenzie has always had a bright and charming sense of humor. She's also been quite affectionate, playfully signing and simultaneously saying "I Love You's" upon request. Her daddy was here for a visit this past weekend and of course, savoring in her affections. As result a new game was formed, and when he'd plead for an "I love you" she'd smile...(the little devil)...and exclaim:

I LoooOOOOOVe..... Popcorn!! (sounds like Pahcorn) instead.

Of course, we found this quite hilarious. And, now she won't say 'I love you' at all, and continues to profess her undying love for Popcorn.

Sleepy Playmates

This story is a day old, but Kenzie has been putting that little imagination of hers to good use lately. She was rather insistent on bringing this dog and this soccer ball outside with her. She was more insistent about carrying them herself, and didn't want no stinking mommy offering to help.



She proceeded to wander about the yard - positioning the puppy to be standing on his legs, or laying flat on his back. She was quite particular in how the puppy ears were placed and made sure the slant of his head was just right. She'd then feed him some pretend milk and tell him to go "night-night for nap" She'd then lay down next to her little playfellows and pretend to snore.



It was quite windy outside and the wind would cause the ball to blow away..which of course, would screw everything up. She'd sit up...exasperated...and yell: "COME HERE!" to the ball. Silly ball wouldn't follow directions and she'd sigh - get up and set the world right again.



She even found this pot and told the Puppy to go to his crib. This is not entirely creative...as Kenzie has a round crib vs. the standard rectangular cage. But once she found the pot - she knew it was the perfect bed for her puppy.

The Pity Party is over..

Doug left today, and here's some of the fun we had after dropping him
at the airport.



1. Watercolor painting was a big hit - and surprisingly not very messy.



2. Stomping through water puddles outside.



3. Sword fights with wrapping paper rolls that were heading for the
trash. Kenzie kept hogging the swords. But I landed a lot of "bops"
when her little arms couldn't carry them all.

She's back and we're having a lot of fun!!

Today is the Day!!

Today is the day when everything will suddenly be right again, in my world. For a short while, anyway!!!

Kenzie is coming home this afternoon, and toting along her Daddy - who'll be here until Sunday, and returning for several consecutive weekends! Things are shaking up around here and we'll be achieving some goals soon. I've been so freaking excited the past couple of days - and I've got a mean menu planned. (that statement alone should provide validation of my excitement -- because me & cooking is rarely a good thing!!)

*****


Also, the blog-world is celebrating "Delurking Week." In honor of that...why don't you quiet folks tell me a wee bit about yourselves. Name (or be anonymous if you like), if you blog, why you read this parenting-drivel-blog-recently-turned-pity-party? Come on... fess up. I know you're there - as the little statistic fairy tells me so!

Top 10 things to miss about my Kenzie..

My Dearest Girl...
You're too young to understand all of this "missing one another" stuff, but I've just had a really heart wrenching few moments of watching you via webcam -- and seeing your pretty little self busy with rearranging miniature people at the picnic table.

I'm thinking of the Top 10 things that I miss about you...I'll say with great confidence that those things greatly exceed the small number of 10... but, I'll reign myself in a wee bit.

Today, I miss:
10. Those sparkling blue eyes.
9. That hair, that's all unruly and curly when sweaty after a nap.
8. Your dramatic way of saying singular words. "WooOOOw......."
7. Those mispronunciations that often resemble curse words. One of these days - you'll say these words and get in big trouble, but today...it's pretty durned cute.
6. The way your whole body wriggles with the sheer anticipation of being lifted from your crib.
5. The way you lay your head upon my shoulder, melting your little body into mine.
4. The way you lose yourself in play, and don't even notice when I call your name.
3. The way you get absolutely silly -- right before bedtime. We still call that wildfire mode.
2. The way you turn food into fingerpaint.
1. That strong will. When you tell me something and mean it. It's an honor to have you bossing me around every day.

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I can say that strangely makes a quizilion times more sense to me these days....

2006

Tonight I miss my family with fierce passion. My Kenzie is asleep..hopefully. My husband in Kansas, called in at both his New Year and my own – with respect to the two hour time difference. I am alone on New Year's Eve with my pets. All I did today was jog, spend time at the mall, do some crafting, watch some Lifetime TV movies, and feel mind-numbingly “wrong.”

I think of the past year. I’m amazed that it finds me here. Alone.

Stepping outside I can hear the sound of affectionate conversations echoing through my neighborhood. Other people are now singing. There is dancing and firecrackers.
Their happiness almost seems surreal to me.

Kenzie’s great grandpa, my paternal grandfather, passed away today. Kenzie never got a chance to meet him. In hindsight, I feel really bad about that. I hope the New Year brings profound changes in our lives so that not only can we be together...but happy and better able to celebrate family.

Today is a beginning of a new year, yet the ending of a life. It’s hard to wrap my mind around.....